Rocky Has Nothing on Me!

My Sis and I started taking group exercise classes called Les Mills. I should clarify, we take them but in different cities, maybe not exactly the same thing but fun all the same. We compare notes and groan and gripe and even go to class with each other if we are visiting.

You may be asking yourself ‘What are Les Mills classes?’ and if you’re not, well I’m going to tell you anyway. As I mentioned before in Body Flow they are classes designed to work every part of your body, every part. I am pretty sure that between all the classes they have there isn’t one muscle that isn’t being worked out.

One class we take is Combat; this is a combination of seven different martial arts. Yea bad-ass! This class kicks you and beats you down and you say, ‘Why am I doing this?’ and you come back to the next one! Recently Les Mills put out a Combat DVD. How awesome! I can only get to a class once a week so this will be great; I can work out at home.

I did one of the DVDs a few weeks ago and it was good. A thirty minute workout, not bad, a good cardio. Today I felt I needed a more complete work out. How bad can ‘The Ultimate Warrior Workout’ be? Sixty minutes later I’m sweating like a two bit prostitute in church! Not even sixty minutes, I think the timer said 58:00! I guess they ran short of ideas in the art of torture and just couldn’t stretch it that last couple of minutes. Possibly watching some Bruce Lee movies, or Bridge over the River Kwai (look it up) to brush up on their Kung Fu torture.

So my newest idea, do the workouts with Sis using the Facetime calling feature on our cell phones!

Purple Snakes?

I got myself the iPhone 4S, quite the upgrade from my 3. I was thinking of getting myself the 5, I mean if I am going to upgrade might as well get all the way up right? The problem was I had just bought myself a Michael Kors iPhone wallet (at an outlet since there was no way I could afford it otherwise!) it is purple snake skin. Who knew there are purple snakes! Well, my sister says, you could give me the wallet and get the 5…

So there is this awesome feature on my new 4S phone! It’s ‘talk to text’! Yes you heard me. Instead of typing in all those tedious letters you push the little microphone and basically dictate and with an occasional minor mistake or so it will put it all into text! So now when Sis and I are into one of our long winded discussions I just talk and I can make like really long phrases…

Then of course working at a college one of the students said to me, ‘Oh yea, and then if you use the headphones it assumes you can’t look at the screen so it will ask you questions about what you wrote…’ (and I’m all like OMG, what can’t this girl do!) So basically we have a conversation about my message, she critics me? Hmmmmm, so my phone has an attitude. We may have to have a sit down and discuss her possible interference. There is a poetic license issue, a freedom of speech what if she doesn’t get me; I mean I have a very sophisticated sense of humor and all that. My student, after studying me a while, said, ‘it’s just a phone’.  Ahem.

On the bright side it looks fabulous in the purple snake skin!

Find my Center? I Didn't Know it Was Lost!

So I got a great idea to add the class Body Flow to my work out schedule. Body Flow is a combination Yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates to tone and re-align our bodies, ow ow ow... I felt that though I was working out on a regular basis, weightlifting and combat (combination of different martial arts) I needed a little something different.

So off I skip to Flow, well not skip my coordination is not that great yet another good reason to take Flow, mat in hand and in my cute yoga outfit! Our nice instructor shows up and we start with standing legs a kimbo in a squat and swinging our arms and posing at the sun... ok I can do this. And we we are swinging and swinging...and swinging and ok enough already! Oh, and now with a downward dog and then twisting into a star and what is she doing?  How did she get her arm to bend that way? There was a time when I was rather bendy, it seems a long time ago. I am more like Barbie now. What do you mean just streach your legs all the way back, now bring this leg forwad and that arm to the other side and twist your body...are we playing Twister? Who moves like that? I kept looking to see if I was reading the directions in the wrong language! Surely she didn't mean to move that way, ok, yes she did... by the time I got twisted one way she was on to the next. I'm not bendy that way! Look, I have a cool mat! Hmmmmm. Bendy didn't come with the mat it would seem.

Now we begin the balance part, this could be comical, dangerous or just sad. Go with sadly comical and your in the ballpark. I was supposed to be a tree, but my shrub was the best in the class. I plan on working my way up to tree foot by foot! Ha! So... as I am trying in vain to keep up with my wonderful instructor and noticing the occasional look from a classmate or two (whatever) I keep asking myself, self 'is this doing anything?" Heck if I know.

The next thing we are doing our cool down, I hear things popping, so this is a good thing right? Who, after the age of Aquarius, can sit in that pretzel way, really? Well it seems some of the women I am in class with can, grrrrrrrr. Well needless to say I am finding my Center, lining up my Chakras and and most off trying to get my bendy back. Stay tuned, right now I'm, going to make like a tree and leavf... Ha!

Move It Along, Move It Along...

·        The whole texting and driving thing...really? So not doing that hasn't caught on yet? Stopping in the middle of driving in the lane as you're approaching a green light so you can text. Then start again, no stop, wait start. Now the light is red, but heaven forbid you take your head out of your a...phone to move up a full car length (you haven't noticed) so that the people behind you can move into the left turn lane for their green light!

     

      Am I ranting? Where did I leave my Chakras?

it   

A Year But it Seems Like a Blink of an Eye

When I was in 5th grade  (Catholic school) I got in some kind of trouble i have no idea what, a minor infraction I'm sure, regardless, as a 'penance' I had to learn a poem and recite it in front of the class within a week or so. There were stipulations of course of length and blah blah, but I remember my dad helping me pick the poem and memorizing it.

SEA FEVER by John Masefield. To this day I can still recite that poem (still have a fear of standing in front of people and speaking, thanks Sister) I learned shortly after his passing that it was his favorite poem.-

Last verse...

'I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life, to the gulls way and the whale's way, where the wind's like a whetted knife; And all i ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover, And a quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trip's over.'

Miss you dad, love you.

Can You Hear Me Now?

As office manager so many important tasks fall on my desk today it seems that the copier was leaving tiny little dots, mere minuscule pin-pricks on the paper and it was up to me to make sure that this didn't happen. Now I'm not saying I have a problem with that at all, it's what I do, but I like to have fun at what I do do (?) ok.
I have to call in the service order to the company who, ah, services the machine as it were...

Service Rep: (a very nice young man who sounded quite fun too!) Hi, this is Steven how can I help you today?
Me: (I was eating my afternoon snack, an apple, ok...) Hello, yes (cough, apple got caught in my throat!) I am needing my drum cleaned, whoa! (laugh, cough, choke!) That sounded wrong...(choke, choke..)
Steven: Oh, no that's correct. We can take care of that for you.
(Seriously? Hello?)
Me: Oh, ok... could you call 911 too I seem to be choking to death here.
Steven: What? What is your machine number?
(Seriously? This is some funny shit here, what is the deal Steven? I thought we had something!)
Me: Ok (blah blah paticulars)
Steven: We will take care of that for you right away, is there anything else?
Me: (Well now that you ask Steven, I could use life support since no one was here to disloge the apple from my throat or remove the knife you stuck in my heart. Could it have hurt you to laugh just a little at my jokes? Hello? Steve?) That's just cold!

The tech came by and replaced the drum. I guess it's just as well it's over between Steven and I it never would have lasted.

Did Someone Step on a Duck?

The other day coming home from work as I pull up to the mail box, 'cause of course I am way to lazy to walk down the driveway to get the mail later, I hear the strangest noise. I cock my head trying to hone in and identify...duck? Is that a duck? Oh my... those crazy neighbors across the street got a duck are you kidding me! It wouldn't surprise me at all...but wait a sec. Upon further notice it seems to becoming from my purse! Really? Then I see it's my cell phone, it's my sister! Since we text all the time and hardly call how was I to remember she was a duck?
Me: Oh hey (laughing like crazy, as I found this to be hilarious)
My sister: What's so funny?
Me: Well, funny story really (so I explain, I know she will be laughing hysterically soon) and your ring tone is a duck! Pretty funny huh?
My sister:...why is my ring tone a duck?
Me: um..........so, what's up?
Gotta love sisters?

'Uff da'

Uff da, yes you heard me. You may want to remember that word it will come in handy for you. I have had occasion to use it many times here in the last couple of days!
It's the, well in our household we say Norwegian but I'm sure the Swedish use it too, word for OMG and most of the words that fall within the general area.

The first time this week was when I was trying to decide on taking a class in painting Rosamaling. This is a type of Norwegian folk art very skilled and only one teacher in the south who teaches and she is 60 miles from me! Uff da (OMG)! The cost for the class and supplies, Uff da (sigh)! This would also mean forgoing my Saturday morning workouts for six weeks, a personal commitment Uff da (double sigh)... however my daughter will take the class with me and it is an art form I have always wanted to learn a plus plus indeed. So we took the plunge and will get up early on Saturday mornings and make the 120 round trip for six weeks UFF DA! (fill in on you own) but I am sure the reward will be worth it.

My second chance to use Uff da was today. I won't translate the substitution however as I feel it may be offensive for some. I told you it was a catch-all phrase!
I had a blog set up a while back and was sailing along just fine. Yesterday I went in with a lovely, rather humorous story to impart. Was I able to post it? Why, no I was not because for some reason though my blog was there I was not! So I spent the better part of my work day (using that phrase rather loosely right now) trying to figure out what happened, to no avail by the way. I then spent at least two hours this morning with my co-worker trying to find me again, Uff da!

Well, the end result is I am now here. New name, new person but still me and ready for my Friday Margarita! Uff da!