Eggy Breaky Heart

So like I was saying, I’m a breakfast person I need that bit of something to fuel me in the morning. Nothing big or fancy I mean I don’t need like a buffet of eggs and bacon and pastries and hash browns and mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well maybe now I do! So in the mornings I scramble up some eggbeaters and, while thinking about that yummy (sigh) buffet, have those and juice.

This morning running late as is my other habit, I think consistency is a good thing, and I didn’t have time to eat my eggs so I put them in a cup so I could eat them in the car (only when at stop lights-don’t eat and drive right?). Fate had other plans for me it would seem. While trying to maneuver all the crap I bring to work with me I drop my Cup o’Eggs on the garage floor! Now a) not being a guy and 2) knowing the condition of our garage floor the whole 5 or 15 or even 1 second rule was not even a consideration. As I stood there staring at my breakfast and saying some choice words I realized that staring at smushed dirty eggs probably wasn’t a good excuse for being late for work.

Of course I had to text my Sis-

M- I spilled my eggs on the garage floor!!!! Gaaaah!

S- LOL, wait what? Oh! I thought you said you soiled the garage floor!

M- ? sigh

On a different note-

Siri staged a coup of Clive. If you don’t know who Clive is or was, I change Siri’s voice to a male from England after I found that the woman doing the voice for Siri was a very pleasant person making my task of getting ticked off at Siri difficult. Clive and I have a love hate relationship like a marriage as it were. I ask him to do things and he tells me ‘I can’t do that at this time try again later.’ I get mad and tell him where he can shove his ‘how can I help you’ crap and he hangs up. Very marriage like right?

So the other day I wake him up (probably had his feet up on the coffee table drinking a pint not using a COASTER after I have mentioned this over and over) and ask him to call someone but he doesn’t answer Siri does! At first of course I think something is going on between them (you know how these gadgets are) but after checking out the setup I see OMG Clive is out and Siri is in! How slick is she!?  I might need to rethink the whole ‘nice Siri’ thing.

Needless to say I have restored Clive to his rightful place with no thanks from him and his first act was to tell me he couldn’t answer my question and for me to look it up myself on Google! Why do I stay with him? It’s a good thing he is gorgeous and has a great body (they better not show me anything different!)